niggaimdeadass:

i leave crumbs in the butter because i hate my family 

221bec:

professionalmisandrist:

What if condoms had temporary tattoos on the inside like you rolled off the condom and there was a picture of a dinosaur on your dick

lesprisenpati:

pillory:

justin bieber getting hit in the head from three different angles

I’m going to masturbate to this later

peregr1ne:

my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him

joshsux:

when mcdonalds accidentally gives you an extra chicken nugget

menmas-booty:

menmas-booty:

There is this kid in my school who dresses as sonic everyday and no one knows his name so everyone just calls him sonic. He also runs through the hallways like him too.

For those who might doubt me

snapchatting:

romantic playlist for that special someone

1. Bring Me To Life - Evanescence
2. Pitbull just anything by Pitbull
3. Thrift Shop (Kidz Bop version)
4. a ukulele cover of Call Me Maybe 
5. Jason Derulo saying “Jason Derulo”

morrissarty:

cheeky-jackharries:

avatar-rokuu:

veryscarytwist:

how am i supposed to concentrate in science when whENEVER I LOOK TO THE LEFT I SEE THIS 

AT LEAST YOU DON”T HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS

AT LEAST YOU DONT HAVE TO SIT NEXT TO THIS

what

cockringtoss:

don’t fail me now mr. president

baby-pigeon-in-the-trench-coat:

spainstateofmind:

thebadwolf:

Fun party trick: put Skittles and M&M’s in the same bowl, wait for someone to grab a handful.

you can go fuck yourself

my mum did this and didn’t tell anyone so when my sister put a bunch in her mouth she spat them out and started crying and now she has trust issues 

thelilnan:

starfleetgrad:

aileine:

I couldn’t help myself.

hey look it got even BETTER